


Shuffled

by Bananthony



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2015-04-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 19:31:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2162424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananthony/pseuds/Bananthony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every uneven breath they took, every featherlight stroke against heated skin, every slight inhale and arched spines, and every soft noise that echoed throughout the room. They were one; brought together by one ship, one unfathomable war, and many wounds and broken pasts. With every moment, they mended each other, until they were inevitably lost. (Collection of Oneshots, different couples, different ratings, different plots, all written to different lyrics)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hold Onto Me - LiaraxF!Shep

**Author's Note:**

> Liara x Female Shepard  
> Rating: R  
> Song: Hold Onto Me - Mayday Parade

_I know I've got my problems, and it starts with me._

_She saw something inside that I can't see._

_And late at night, yeah, she'll comfort me._

_Hold onto me, hold onto me._

 

No matter how many years passed, Liara couldn't forget what had happened in the past. She would awake in the middle night, untangle herself from Shepard's arms and sit in the kitchen, nursing some tea as she slid deep into her thoughts. Even when they had their own apartment and Shepard retired, they took turns awaking from nightmares or having sleepless nights due to their thoughts.

"Liara? You awake?"

Shepard's voice called from the hallway as she made her way to the kitchen to where Liara was perched. Liara didn't speak and merely poured Shepard a cup of tea and placed it on the chair next to hers. Shepard hummed appreciatively and took a sip.

"Shepard, why did you choose me?" Liara's question echoed in the otherwise silent home.

"Choose you?"

"Yes," she paused and then hesitantly continued. "You could have had anyone aboard the Normandy. Why me?"

Liara half expected Shepard to be upset and to lash out at her, or be hurt at the very least. She was startled by the soft chuckle that left Shepard's lips and a shake of a head that made Shepard's red curls move with the motion.

"You really don't see how special you are, do you?"

Shepard stood up, walking close to Liara and taking her hands in her own. Her green eyes shone as they met with Liara's blues. Liara could practically see the love radiate within them. She felt herself relaxing as she stared into them.

"Liara, I knew you were special since the moment I first laid eyes on you. When we had our talks on the Normandy, I felt like I was flying. Of course, that could be because we were literally flying," Shepard teased. "But you always made me happy. When Cerberus brought me back, all I could think about was you. 'It's been two years, where is Liara? Is she okay? Has she found someone else? Is she happy?' When I finally saw you on Illium I had to stop myself from pinning you against that table and taking you in front of my crew."

Liara's cheeks flushed and she looked away, only to have Shepard's hand move and force her to glance back into her amused eyes. Shepard leaned in and stole a quick kiss before Liara could reply, pressing her against the counter and not letting her leave.

"I've never been one for asari, you know? I was never against it, but I never really thought I had an asari kink. Yet, I get so hot around you, feel my body ache for you. Maybe I have a Liara kink?" Shepard chuckled and swooped down for another kiss. "Before you mistake me as only wanting your body, let me say something else. When I was speaking to the Catalyst and he told me my options and how I wasn't going to survive, my thoughts were of you. I wanted to tell you I loved you one more time, wanted to have little blue children running around, wanted to see your smile, listen to your soothing voice. It was you that kept me going. When I awoke in the rubble, I wanted to die and I was about to, I know it. Yet I kept struggling for breath because I wanted to see you again. Liara, love of my life, you are my universe. That is why I chose you."

Liara couldn't speak as Shepard's words sunk into her mind. She did the only thing she could think of. She pressed her hands against Shepard's cheeks and smashed their lips together in a fight of passion. Shepard groaned in appreciation and lifted Liara up onto the counter, not caring that they had knocked over their tea onto the wooden floors. They would deal with that later.

Shepard's kisses lingered for a moment more before starting down Liara's neck, her hands pushing up the oversized T-shirt that she was wearing. Liara couldn't help but moan as Shepard plucked at her nipples until they were hard. Shepard nibbled on the blue expansion of skin of her neck, humming as she listened to the moans pouring from Liara's mouth.

"Shepard," Liara breathed, her back arching and pushing her breasts towards her.

"It is so hot to see you in human clothing, you know that right?" Shepard replied, her fingers slipping into the band of Liara's underwear.

With a flick of the hand, the panties were on the ground and Shepard's hands were tracing a path up Liara's shaking thighs. Liara bit her lip, spreading her legs wider as Shepard's hands came to the apex of her thighs. Liara twitched as Shepard's fingers traced her warmth, softly and teasingly. Before she could beg for more, Shepard kneeled down, swirling her sharp tongue along the asari's clit.

"Goddess," Liara moaned, her legs tightening around Shepard's head to keep her there. "Shepard, please."

Shepard only pressed her tongue harder and began changing rhythms to make Liara lose herself in the mind numbing pleasure. She slid a finger into her, stroking her tight walls as Liara clamped down onto it.

"Now, Liara," Shepard commanded before sliding her tongue against her girlfriend's clit once more.

Liara's back bowed and she let out a breathless moan before gripping onto Shepard's hair.

"Embrace eternity!" she cried, her hips bucking against Shepard's mouth as they connected.

Shepard moaned against Liara's clit as she felt her girlfriend's orgasm race through her. Liara was shooting naughty thoughts through their link, something she did every time she was lost to pleasure.

"Liara, fuck," Shepard's hand slipped into her own panties, leaning against the counter.

Liara hummed in satisfaction as she watched her girlfriend pleasure herself and felt the throbs of oversensation running through her. She whispered Shepard's name quietly in her ear as she placed kisses and nips along her neck and pinched her breasts through her shirt. Shepard's eyes squeezed shut as she clenched the table and let out a whimper as she rode her fingers to oblivion.

They panted against each other, their eyes locked and breathing synchronizing. Shepard was the first to let out a soft chuckle that Liara quickly joined in. Shepard leaned in, capturing Liara's lips again, this time keeping it slow and sweet.

They heard the sound of an alarm clock coming from the bedroom and they both groaned in disappointment before slowly untangling themselves and cleaning the kitchen. Liara watched as Shepard swayed her hips purposely and walked to the bedroom, humming a tune that she always did. She didn't notice Liara's stare.

Liara couldn't help a smile as she followed Shepard, hoping one day she could comfort Shepard the way she comforted her.

 

 


	2. Fix Me - Icon for Hire GarrusxFem!Shep

_And you know how I try, fight to survive_.  
 _My hands are bloody from holding myself too tight._  
 _You know how it hurts_ ,  
 _You know what the pain will be worth._  
  
 _Every scar one day will heal_ ,  
 _Every tear one day will dry._

* * *

 

 As the elevator doors swished open, Garrus made his way into the dark quarters of his human girlfriend. Datapads were strewn across her desk, flickering to life as he walked by, and her computer was flashing as she received more e-mails. He tapped a clawed talon to the screen and watched as it lit up and revealed a whole slew of messages, all pleading for Shepard's help.

"Seven hundred and eighty-four," came a voice from behind him.

He wheeled around and glanced at his girlfriend, dressed in what she called 'pajamas' and her hair still wet and dark along her shoulders. Her shoulders were slumped in defeat as she walked towards him and took a seat in her desk chair. She picked up a datapad, absentmindedly scrolling through the information it possessed.

"Shepard," Garrus' voice was soft. "You can't save everyone."

She slammed the datapad onto the table, making the desk rock and her coffee cup crash to the floor and splinter into pieces. Shepard let out an angry cry, swiping her hand across the desk and letting the sounds of datapads falling to the floor soothe her pain.

"You don't think I know that, already?" she screamed, turning to face Garrus.

Shepard's face was one of pure emotions. All of his years with the human had taught him most of them, but he never expected to see them all in play. Her red cheeks were hot from anger, her eyes brimming with tears in sadness, her eyebrows quirked with frustration, her mouth pulled back in a frown from resignation.

"Shepard--"

"Garrus, I couldn't even save Mordin or Thane or Legion. How am I supposed to save the whole galaxy? I have seven hundred and eighty-four messages from people begging me to help them. I really want to help them all, to make sure they make it out alright, but I can't because I'm too busy playing politics and creating a weapon of mass destruction that no one knows will actually work," she took a deep breath, closing her eyes tightly. "I'm scared, Garrus. This is worst than my parents dying on Mindoir, worst than my squad dying against a giant fucking thresher maw. I'm scared and I hate it. I'm scared and I fear that I will fail."

Garrus couldn't think of the words to say to calm her down. He was never good at words or relationships, and this required them both. He wrapped a three-fingered hand around one of her wrists, pulling her close and used his other hand to comb through her wet locks. She sighed in contentment as he began to stroke her scalp, adding only a little pressure. He finally sighed and began to speak.

"When I met you, I was surprised. All of the humans I met before you were breakable, weak, frail, kind of annoying, to be honest," he gave her an amused twitch of his mandibles. "From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you were something different. When I learned about your past, I never saw you as someone with scars and issues, I saw someone with promise and a strong will to survive."

He paused and trailed his talons up her arms, stroking over her scars from years of battles. Her eyes caught his and her mouth opened, whether it be in embarrassment or surprise, he would never know.

"Shepard, we all have scars. Spirits, half my face is a scar. But that is life. Even if you weren't in the Alliance, I bet you'd still have scars. You would fall down and scrape your knees, or need surgery and get stitches, or something. Love, scars heal. Mental and physical ones. Right now, you are stressed well beyond belief and I can't blame you. But don't you dare break on me, you hear me, Shepard? Just you wait, ten years from now, we'll be sitting in our living room with our kids running around and we'll be happy. Our scars will barely be there, but they made us who we are and got us to where we are. So just hold on, Shepard. Hold on for me. I know it hurts, but please do it for me."

* * *

There were the sounds of pattering footsteps racing across the wooden floors. Each pair had a different sound, a clacking, a thumping, and and barely noticeable tapping. There was a thud and the thumping came to a sudden stop, while the clacking and tapping slowed to a stop. The silence was replaced with loud cackling, one flanging, one high. There was even a low grunt from the one who had fell.

The two lovers on the couch chuckled in unison, sharing an amused glance as their kids came bounding into the living room where they sat. The silence they had been sharing while drinking their morning drinks was interrupted by the rowdy kids finally awakening to the morning sun out their window.

The green-eyed, brown plated turian was the first to arrive, clacking as he made his way over with a flanging purr. The female laughed and swooped him into her arms, careful of all of his spurs. The blonde-haired human was next, tapping her way and clinging onto her father's legs with a shrill giggle. The red-eyed krogan last came thumping across the floor, deep voice groaning as he rubbed his sore knees.

The parents shared a look before the female cooed at the krogan and he hopped up beside her and snuggled into her side, grumbling in embarrassment about how childish it was for an eight year old krogan to do so but not making any motion to move. The female laughed and pressed a kiss to his forehead, glancing down at her own arms and for the first time in ten years, noticing how her scars were long gone.

Shepard caught Garrus' eyes, both full of softness and love. Ten years later, their affections hadn't lessened, the war was over, and they had three beautiful children that kept them busy even after they retired from the front lines.

Ten years later, Shepard only shed tears of joy, and she never gave a second glance to her nearly faded scars.


	3. Say Something - A Great Big World GarrusxFem!Shep

_Say something I'm giving up on you._

_I'll be the one if you want me to._

* * *

 

 "Shepard!"

She stole another painful breath, her chest heaving in exertion. It hurt to breath, to move, to even live. She opened her parched lips, letting out a low, strangled moan barely heard over the sound of fire lapping the rubble around her. She took another deep breath, wheezing as the smoke burned her already sore lungs. She felt salty tears fall down her cheeks, the pain was too much. She willed herself elsewhere, anywhere but here under rubble and in pain.

She heard the familiar voice call her again, but she couldn't think clearly. Her mind was muddled with pain and exhaustion, but she could hear the dual tone crying for her. She felt her heartbeat slowing and her lungs taking in less air. The voice was muffled, unintelligible. She took in one last sigh before letting her mind go dark, and her lungs rest.

* * *

 

_Anywhere I would have followed you._

_Say something I'm giving up on you._

* * *

 

Garrus took in a deep breath, willing his sense of smell to work better than ever before. All around him was burnt corpses, debris, and broken pieces of Earth. He couldn't smell his mate anywhere. Already he missed the smell of her; the smell that was gunpowder, musk, and a touch of something she called 'cinnamon.' He lifted board after board of scorched debris, hoping he would find her lying unconscious, but still alive, Spirits, let her be alive.

The others had given up hours ago, giving him pitying looks before heading back to the _Normandy._ He refused to join them. He knew she was alive, she just had to be. She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't be. He continued lifting debris, letting out calls of her name every few minutes, hoping he would hear a soft cry of his own in response. Instead, he heard nothing but silence.

* * *

 

_And I will swallow my pride._

_You're the one that I love,_

_And I'm saying goodbye._

* * *

 

He walked until his taloned feet hurt. He took a break, resting on a cool piece of metal, seemingly untouched by the fires that ravaged the land. His body felt cold and empty. He hated himself for it, but he knew he was losing hope. He had walked for hours and hours with no proof that she was even here, let alone alive. His heart dropped at his own thoughts.

He thought back to his final moments with Shepard; her smile, full of pain and sadness, her words, full of love and passion, her touch, full of sorrow and strength. She probably knew she wouldn't make it, yet she promised him a future. A future with a family, resting on an island to themselves. She promised him a future, something she had no idea whether she had or not.

He drew in a ragged breath, closing his eyes and letting out a keening cry as he clenched his fists, drawing blood from his talons. He let out a pained sob, his eyes squeezing shut as he entertained a future without her. It seemed so bleak, so cold, so useless. It wasn't the future he wanted, neither of them wanted it.

Garrus lost track of how much time passed from when he sat down to when he was able to control his breathing and unclench his now sore hands. He stood up, heart heavy, taloned hand pressing the button on his suit and reading the transmitted signal of where the _Normandy_ was landed. He began the long trek back.

* * *

 

  _Say something I'm giving up on you._

_I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you._

_Anywhere I would have followed you._

_Say something I'm giving up on you._

_Say something..._

* * *

 

Garrus was partially aboard the _Normandy_ when he heard it. It was a soft, almost silent gasp, and then a voice. It was ragged and hoarse, but he heard the word as if it was the clearest thing he had ever heard in his entire life. Underneath a large piece of debris, he heard a soft murmur of a name.

"Garrus..."


	4. Fear Not This Night - JokerxFem!Shep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joker x Female Shepard  
> Rating: T  
> Song: Fear Not This Night - Malukah

_Nightmares come when shadows grow,_

_Eyes close and heartbeats slow._

 

The first thing that ran through Joker's mind, as his eyelids first opened to the bright sun filtering through the window, was of Jane Shepard. He glanced at the empty side of the bed where she should have been laying. With a soft sigh, he sat up, sparing a glance at the clock on the wall. It ticked away the minutes that he sat there, unwilling to get up. He had no will to. He had no where to go, nothing to do, no one to see. The reapers were defeated, the Normandy decommissioned, his old teammates continuing their lives. The days continued to pass by, systems were being rebuilt, without a single sign of Jane in the wreckage.

He pulled out his omnitool, pulling up his messages to check if there was any news or sightings, or  _anything_. He scrolled through the mound of worried messages from old crewmates and his sister. His heart stopped as he came across the last message Jane had sent him, while still under house arrest on Earth. He hesitated for a moment before clicking on it. A hologram of her appeared, with her silly grin on her face. Her red hair was clean, her cheeks round from lack of battle and exercise, and her green eyes pure.

 

_Fear not this night,_

_You will not go astray._

 

 **Hey Jeff! This is crazy isn't it? I have no idea if this will even reach you, but I figured I'd give it a try.**  She gave a shrug and her smile softened. **I miss you lots, and there is so much I need to say, in case something happens to me. So hear me out, okay? Um, okay, let's see...**  She tapped her finger to her chin, pretending to think. She laughed and continued. **You are the best thing that has ever happened to  me. Corny, right? But it's true. I knew from the moment I met you, you were something special.** She paused for a moment, her smile fading.  **Jeff, with this war, there is a chance I won't survive. A big one. Just the thought of us being separated forever...It kills me. I want you to promise me, no matter what happens, that you will try to keep going. Get a wife, have a child, be happy. If I end up your wife, hell, it will be amazing.**  Her smile was there, only for a moment before it was gone again. **I would be overjoyed. But we both know that might not happen. And when this is all over...If I'm not here, just know I love you. I always will. No matter what, just please be happy. For me.** The hologram flickered before turning off, the room once again quiet.

 

_Still the stars find their way._

_And you can always be strong,_

_Lift your voice with the first light of dawn._

 

Joker sighed once more, before swinging his legs over the side of the bed and forcing his joints to cooperate into letting him stand. He walked to the window, glancing out at the sun and grass and trees. There were children running around, laughing and playing tag. There were women in the gardens by their houses, and men talking as they walked. A couple walked hand-in-hand, each with a smile.

"If only you were here to see this, Jane," he whispered. "They are alive because of you."

Only the echoes of the children laughing answered him. With a grimace, he walked down the hall to start his normal routine of keeping his mind off the absence of the love of his life. It never truly worked.

_Dawn's just a heartbeat away,_

_Hope's just a sunrise away._

Later that night, his omnitool bleeped with a new message. 


End file.
